Why Gratitude Is Always My Word For The Year – Cozy Living

I posted this image to Instagram on January 1st and this was my caption.

“2019, it’s here! What are some of the things I can reflect on? Some “words of wisdom”? Hmmmmm… Well, once again life has taught me that there are no guarantees and there are no promises. 😔

We have this one tender life, this one time to express your true self, this one time to truly be you! One time to love out loud, to laugh like a wheezer, to be proud of what you contribute to this world! Because, we ALL contribute such wonderful gifts!

Burn the Christmas tree candle, now… Don’t wrap it in tissue for “next year”. 💛

My lesson, my words of wisdom, fill your heart with gratitude first and all else will settle into place! 💛💛💛”

Cozy Living

It’s the first Saturday of the month – the first month of the year – HOLY SMOKES! 2019 is here and I thought I would share with you why Gratitude is always my word, for every single new year! I am also joining in with, The Cozy Living Team again this year and we are sharing how we #hygge. The #CozyLivingTeam is hosted by the lovely, Jennifer from  Town & Country Living – this is where we all get together and share our cozy ways, please stick around because I share all of my talented friends at the end of this post. xo 

If you’d like to see more of what we do you can also follow our, Cozy Living pin board here –>Cozy Living – Hygge 

How I Found Gratitude

We all go through the “gnarly” of life, strive to see past it to find the beauty…

I just reread my very first gratitude post . I wrote that post in 2014 and… little did I know, a few short months later my pledge to gratitude would be tested beyond measure when we lost Mom too! That pain was and is still so overwhelming, I have not been able to put “pen to paper”.  Her story is still so tender… but I will share her light and my heart with you here… one day. It was overwhelming the amount of pain and grief that 2014 held for myself and my family, yet even out of that horrible time I found my greatest gift. 

G R A T I T U D E

The stillness of this scene calms me, gives me pause… nature always reminds me of gratitude. 

I did find gratitude, or it found me while I was in the greatest pain of my life, it “fell” over me like a wave while I was out with my Brother taking photos (exploring Newfoundland) and meeting people that knew my parents. A feeling of calm and peace came over me that day, a feeling of pure gratitude – I actually did feel it. I know, that’s so strange, isn’t it? I just felt a shift in my thinking while talking to these strangers who knew my folks, while listening to them tell myself and my Brother what kind and giving people they were. It dawned on me then that the kindest, most giving people were my parents and I was so very blessed to have had them for as long as I did (never long enough), so very grateful to have been taught, guided and nurtured by them. While of course I am still grieving (I think I always will) the feeling of gratitude is now making me stronger and so very thankful. The power of gratitude (as corny as this sounds) lets me see through the gnarly, to find the blessings. 

Negativity is very strong – and it seems easier

Not one of us gets out of this life without pain, disappointment and grief, no one gets by without running into negative. Just like most of us don’t go through this life without good, beauty and the simple treasures of life. I’ve realized in my lifetime that negative feelings and thoughts seem so much easier to settle into than the positive ones do. It seems easier to be pissed at something going wrong in life rather than search for the “lesson” and some things aren’t a lesson, they just are. It’s easier to be miffed at the slow driver in front of you than it is for you to think of turning on your favourite podcast and taking that slowed down time to enjoy it. It’s easier to be grumpy and mad or “putout” about little everyday things than it is to stop the negative feelings, to actively switch your mindset to a more positive outlook. I’m not sure if the “negative” is easier for everyone, but it is for me and for the people I know.  Positive thinking and gratitude takes real effort, it’s a job for every single day AND, it’s SO worth it. I’ve also noticed that through my lifetime, negative thinkers want you on the “bus” with them… I guess that’s where the expression, “misery loves company” comes from? All that to say, the path to negative seems more natural for some of us. This is how I flex my gratitude muscles – making them stronger, little bit by little bit.  

How can you “practice” gratitude in your life?

I am not going to pretend that I’m some kind of gratitude expert, this my friends is a life long lesson for me, it takes real work. I don’t have any rose coloured glasses and I’m not saying that I never get irked or feel mad. I do work at calming my negative mind (when it goes there), because it feels horrible, heavy and achey! So, if that’s something that applies to you too here are some every day examples of how I work to switch my mindset; 

1. Slow drivers (not one of my pet-peeves personally – “someone” who shall remain nameless) – as mentioned above turn on your favourite podcast, radio station or blast your favourite music and get into it. I saw a lady in the grocery store last month and she had ear phones on, I knew that was her “positive bubble” – smart! 
2. Rude people – I find this almost always defuses a situation, eye contact and a smile – some people are just “happy” to be grumpy, so try to tell yourself, that mood is their issue, not yours. Giving others the power to “ruin” your day is giving them a power that isn’t theirs – this is within your own power! 
3. Other people’s (loved ones) bad moods – confession time… this is my biggest weakness. I am somehow classed as an empath and I totally believe it. I can feel a grumpy person from a bajillion miles away. Ugh. haha that’s not a very positive statement, is it? I’m also a “fixer” so… Seriously though, being an empath is actually a really good thing, not being able to disconnect from someone else’s mood, well that is self-defeating. What I try to do… deep breaths, listen instead of reacting, take a break… before something pops out of your mouth that you may regret later – leave the room, go do another activity, go for a walk, the power of a pause is very handy. 
4. When anger/frustration does touch down… (this totally will not work for everyone) I turn on my 80’s and rage-clean! It’s when I do my BEST cleaning. hahaha!!! By the time the mood is forgotten you have a clean space AND that’s a massive positive in my books! 
5. Appreciate the simple things – I’m not sure if I’m just wired this way, but I love simple moments, slow times, laughter, quiet. The way the light comes into a room at golden hour. The colour of the sky on a cold crisp day. I could go on and on, my long winded point? Take the time to appreciate the things that make you happy all of the time – stop rushing through every day and stop, appreciate and reflect. 

I don’t have every example of every scenario in life up there… I couldn’t possibly. What I’m trying to convey is that there are many different ways to shift a negative thought towards a positive one in the “small” situations of life, to flex that gratitude muscle. The biggest and best tip I can give is to actually realize when you are in a negative thought process, learn to recognize when your brain goes negative. Start with small and simple things, like a long wait in a lineup, practice turning that into a positive… talk to the people around you, open an article you’ve been wanting to read on your phone – distract your brain away from the negative and festering thoughts. I have found the more I use my positive the stronger it gets.  And finally… 

Gratitude from Grief  

Navigating through grief has been the toughest journey of my life, it still is the hardest thing I am working on – every day.  Losing a loved one very simply put, changes you… forever! I realize that there are things in life that we just can’t “gratitude” through, things that are unspeakable… today I simply wanted to share how I have navigated through my life experiences so far. I hope you can glean some helpful tips, even if it’s only for your daily commute. 

This post has turned into a much longer one than I anticipated. And I hope it’s not a downer for anyone… I guess I have a lot on my mind and I’ve had some people ask me how I work through things, how I see the positive in life and in people? Very simply, I cling to gratitude – I cling to the fact that the people I love and have lost are still with me, in my memories, in my heart and in my dreams and for that I am so very grateful! The fact that I’m still applying gratitude to every part of my life is why, year after year I am choosing it as my word. 

Cozy Living Team

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